Is it Biblical to get over your past ?

All of us have chapters we wish we could rewrite. Dr Harold Bloomfield says, ‘Unresolved emotional pain wreaks havoc on your immune system, cardiac function, hormone levels, and other physical functions. We must make peace with our past because our life may literally depend on it.’ To get over your past you must, first, start looking at it differently. Reframe it. Ask, ‘How did it make me stronger? What do I know now that I didn’t know then?’ Don’t focus on what you lost, but on what you gained. Second, understand the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is feeling bad about what you’ve done – it’s healthy; shame is feeling bad about who you are – it’s toxic and debilitating. All of us have things we’d like to change about ourselves, but when God created us He said, ‘… it was very good… ‘ (Genesis 1:31 NKJV), so start seeing yourself as He sees you. Third, stop punishing yourself with the ‘if only’s’. After stumbling badly and having God pick him up, David wrote, ‘Happy is the person whose sins are forgiven… whom the Lord does not consider guilty… ‘ (Psalm 32:1-2 NCV). Forgive yourself; God has. Because He sees you through the cross, you are ‘accepted’ (Ephesians 1:6 NKJV). Finally, move from pain to gain. Healing takes time, so expect some anger, fear and sadness. Don’t disown them; they’re part of the process. But don’t adopt them either; know when it’s time to move on. You can’t walk backwards into the future, and the future God has in mind contains more happiness than any past you can remember.

Your past can either be an albatross around your neck, or the wind beneath your wings. So, run on and accept what happened. If you don’t, you’ll keep reliving it. While working in the Congo as a missionary, Helen Roseveare was brutally raped. Writing about it she says, ‘I must ask myself, “Can I thank God for trusting me with this experience, even if He never tells me why?”‘ The secret of trust doesn’t lie in answers; it lies in acceptance. It’s knowing that in the midst of whatever has happened, is happening or will happen, God is in control. Either you fix your mind on that and determine to live again, or go through life feeling like you never got a fair shake. Then, you must bury the past or live with its ghosts. Rehashing old hurts is like watching the same movie over and over, hoping for a different ending. It’s not going to happen! Learn from it and move on. You don’t drown by falling into the water, you drown by staying there. Get out of the blame game. Blame is a waste of time. When you blame yourself you multiply guilt, chain yourself to the past, and increase your already low self-esteem. When you blame God you cut yourself off from His power, doubt replaces trust, and you put down roots of bitterness that make you cynical. When you blame others you add to the distance between them and you, and lose the only option that works – forgiveness. Instead, trust the One who promised to ‘make all things new’, and move forward.

My mission is to help people overcome their past and live for today - Robert J Russell, Speaker